Ever since we compared how women were treated based on doctrines in Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist societies, I feel especially inclined to do my project on something along these lines. I don't know, but something about the doctrine we read defining women as wisdom and love seemed to remind me of a chivalry and respect for women that doesn't seem to exist anymore in the world.

In fact, in Mahāyāna Buddhism, wisdom is embodied by a female buddha, Prajnaparamita. This form of Buddhism really hits home for me; as opposed to the better-known Theravada Buddhists, they believe that anyone can reach enlightenment in a single lifetime but focus on helping others achieve it as well. There's something very noble and almost valiant in that idea.

So something's been bothering me ever since we watched that clip from The Matrix way back when in class. We were asked "Would you choose the truth?" and the more and more I think about it, the more I think we're a lot less blind than we think we are.

Oh, you know what people say. Teenagers these days, they just don't care about politics, world hunger, epidemics, natural disasters. They're too focused on texting and music and staying up late on Facebook. In a way, whether we're teenagers or not, we're a bit like Neo: we'd all prefer to stay stuck in our own little worlds and ignore harsh realities. Everyday we're given the chance to choose the truth when we switch on the television and CNN is on. We'd like to say we protect ourselves by choosing what we want to believe.

But I don't think so. I think it's human nature to want to know the truth. I feel like, at that moment of decision, when the news comes on, we acknowledge it. We hear about breaking news the next day, we see it on Facebook and in our news feeds. There was a huge turnout of donations and fundraisers when the earthquake hit Haiti, and then the disaster in Japan. And on 9/11, we didn't ignore the truth that we'd been attacked because it was too painful: we addressed our pain, accepted it as the truth and the new status quo. We felt burning curiosity, and in that split second when we could choose to either know the truth about our changing world or stick with the current state of mind, we were too overwhelmed with some innate interest to bother wondering if it would change us.

It's inevitable that we'll choose truth every time. In such a global community, it's impossible not to hear and wonder about the truth and then pass it on. Like they say, "curiosity killed the cat." And yet, you know what few people realize? That "satisfaction brought it back."

So today in class my table and I had a bit of a heated discussion over the articles we read about religious expression.

Women's religious attire being banned from public spaces, to the point that women are fined for being seen in their veils--it's ridiculous! Doesn't the government have better things to do than, say, picking on women proud of their religion and culture? I mean, if they tried to enforce such a fine here in the U.S., the very first objection would probably be that there are many, many more pieces of legislation deserving the time and money spent to put such a ban in place. I can't say I know much about the Netherlands (that is the country this is happening in, right?) but I'm pretty sure they're not ruled some dictator who can enforce prejudiced practices. More women should be speaking up about this, and not just Arab women either--I think any female who can put herself in their shoes can sympathize. Nuns surely can understand how they feel and should be outraged, because they have similar religiously-associated attire but haven't been asked to change it, making the discrimination clear.

In essence, I think problem comes with the idea of religious attire fitting under the category "personal expression." Because it's not just their own religion these women are expressing when they wear these head/face coverings; it's centuries of culture, family, heritage, and traditional. They choose to wear it not just for themselves but for a community of religious women and men. So they may feel that's it's not only a right, but an obligation to their society and a homage to their ancestors in this modern age. I don't want to be putting words in their mouth, because I can only sympathize, and not fully understand how terrible it could be to be told what to wear by a bunch of stuffy men in suits. The men who impose the fine and I are similar in that we shouldn't have the right to dictate what they wear when we don't fully understand how powerful a symbol this dress could be for them.

For my "spiritual" song, I selected Drive by Incubus.

"Sometimes, I feel the fear of
Uncertainty stinging clear.
And I can't help but ask myself
how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer.

It's driven me before,
and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find that I,
should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there.

So if I decide to waiver my
chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine
and hold my own and drive?
Ohh-oh-oohh

It's driven me before
and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that
when I drive myself my light is found.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there.

Would you choose water over wine...
Hold the wheel and drive?

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there."

It's difficult to put in words exactly how this song empowers me. I've always been a little bit at-odds with religion; growing up in a Catholic school put me off of religion, faiths, and "a higher being." Maybe it was just teenage rebellion, but I began cutting God out of my life completely and focusing more on my present life instead of the one "to come" after death. Now, I think I'm facing the decision: should I choose water over wine? My own set of beliefs, or the faith I have been brought up with?

This song captures the feeling I always get when I look up at the sky at night and see the moon, or when I look back at how far I've come from being a timid little freshman girl. I want to wish that there is a higher being, because of all the beauty and vibrance surrounding me, but at the same time, I'm satisfied with simply sitting back and appreciating it, not attempting to label it or explain it with the concept of some almighty power. Drive is like a reminder to myself that I am in control of my future--no one else, no faith or God or higher being can decide for me where I plan to go, spiritually or physically. Call it "free will" if you must, but I see it as freedom to enjoy life. I've been "driven" before by the beliefs I felt compelled to follow as part of my parish, but recently I think I've been able to see that whatever faith I belong to, I can choose for myself how I act and think. "Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there," and by that, I mean that all of me will be there, based on my own choices. Eventually, my light will be found, either from faith in a religion, or faith in the world around me and the future I can bring on my own.